Loser by the result, but a winner in our heart

"You've got to take it on the chin, move on and try to pick yourself up but at the moment it's heartbreaking," - Stevie G

It comes again. Exams. And it is the time of the year where everybody seems to get themselves occupied and unavailable, much to the panic alert of millions pages of books they haven’t revise and thousands of tutorials have to be squeezed in one night. It’s a hell for procrastinators but a heaven full of nude dancers for anyone who have seconds, minutes and hours in their pocket. Procrastinators would most probably be in Man Utd shoes in the FA Cup final last night, when they wished they had more time in a given 120 minutes of play. While the time-wise people who have every single theories and applications of DNA Profiling whatever not, in their grasp is utterly resemble Chelsea in last night turmoil, where they wished the referee would blow the whistle more sooner.

Where am I? Fair enough and frankly speaking, I deal with my time well and tried very hard to find a way to unwind and have a good laugh with my wicked comrades – and even squeezed my time to update this blog when everybody is being tied with invisible rope of complex numbers, differentiation, theory of evolution, DNA transcription etc.

Mood swing during exam season is the thing that bothers me a lot. Everybody seems to have that doldrums when it comes to exams, and other’s feeling is the thing that is not to be prioritized for the moment. It is the time of the year when kiasu-ness getting appalling. Lengthy shout of Dino may explain how disappointing it can be when people that we know is a cheerful, joyful and nice to befriend with turned out to be an exam-oriented animal, with kiasu as his/her middle name and deposit friendship on hold for a week. How sad and how daunting exams could get us so occupied.

If you ask me, my favorite spot of the day is still and will always be,

The awe-inspiring grassland with hypocrisy-free environment

With ever inspiring people of mine

And not the seasonal study carol which get dirty only at the end of the semester,

No matter there are 17 millions of subject I have to sit for my exam.

OK, fucking them off might not cut it. Just my humble piece of advice, don’t let the ugly force of exam to strip our reasons and considerations when it comes to relationship. Anyway, good luck for the exam anyone!

P.S. And my good luck to Stevie G as well in his upcoming exam in Athens.

I think they deserve each other. Raja Nazrin is a very well respected and educated royals, who had served Koleq as a chairman of the Board of Governors, and the bride, one fair lady with good head on her shoulder. What a match.

I just hope that Raja Nazrin will not lose his words of wisdom and thoughts when he has a woman waiting for him passionately at home. Anyway, let me pray that both of the will be showered with good fortune and happiness! Daulat Tuanku!

Oh yes, picture of me with Raja Nazrin. He he.

On my left was my chemistry teacher - cun woh! I was more nervous to learn Chemistry than getting a scroll from the Raja Muda back then.

And his sexy Maybach, which would require me to win 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' twice to buy it.

P.S. Raja Muda is marrying a chemical engineer. What a chemical romance that would be!

It has been my wildest dream for years of supporting Malaysian football scene to see international pundits putting their words of wisdom into writings about our football scene. And today soccernet.com featured something about Malaysia, after a long wait.

And it’s nothing about Zaquan Adha, Aidil Zafuan or any of our young starlets trying to cross the threshold the fray of world football, but it is our Prime Minister who get up of his seat to show that he is a passionate Man Utd die-hard-fan, by trying to aks for AFC to revoke their decree of not allowing Man Utd to play in Kuala Lumpur in their one-week Asian tour, which somehow clash with Asian Cup. For your information, the most supreme football tournament in Asia is saying hello in a few months and can’t we give the cup some space for making its vibe? I just think that Asian Cup should be treated with respect, and any other football event across the region should rest their arm and embrace the most prestigious football party of our own.I am not being bias because Man Utd is coming, and not Liverpool, but AFC has its poise to be taken care off.

And to have our PM making his way into the picture is making me hiding my face into some hulu. I owe him a huge of respect by being appreciative to millions of Premiership fans in trying to bring the Premiership aura to Malaysia but with a troublesome education system in one hand and an uncertain future of our Malaysian Plan whatever not on the other, why he always have time to think about other things like this? We have our line of ministers to take care of this issue anyway. So he might want to really work on our beloved country’s future and curb out corruptions instead.

Whatever it is, I just hope that this July’s Asian Cup will be a huge a success and would be a turning point of a bright future ahead of Asian football scene, especially our own Malaysian scene - and also, a time for every people across this humble region to have fun and joy out of the beautiful game.

P.S. So we are going to be up against Iran, Uzbekistan and China PR in Group C. Huh, what an easy way to say goodbye in front of our own crowd. Anyway good luck dude! Don't let our shiny Nike wear been tarnished and washed away by goal fiestas.

Best ke buat blog? Ko buat blog ni, ada orang baca ke? Cool eh buat blog?

Somebody hit me with that array of questions; as if I care that much to even think about it. And I just brushed that question mark off with - I simply blog because I love to write, and it’s a way for me to be transparent, and sometimes, text speaks louder than words.

Blogging for me is not just about money, fame, Jacuzzis full of sexy nude readers and whatever not, but it is far beyond that. I don’t write to satisfy anyone, I don’t wrte to make anyone feel good or feel bad about whatever, I just write to satisfy myself and my dick.

Blogging can make you look cool? All hail my trademark middle finger to anyone trying to look cool by trying to impress anyone by blogging. It is not about making an impression to others dude, as blogging is about a way of treating your dick well, and pampering it tenderly and by shouting your heart out like you are outcrying in outer space, where nasty words and vulgar slang is tolerable and you might experience the best of feeling ever in return. And that’s how I define blogging and how I enjoy doing it, no matter what others say about me indulging myself into it.

It is a nasty and wicked world of blogosphere, that’s what I’ve told to many friends I know who are currently eyeing to make their move in this world. And I always said, if you have a computer connected to the internet and a brain full of things to say, and you have no one to hear you giving your sermon, you are without doubt welcomed to this world. And it wouldn’t be a matter if people read it or not, it is the matter of have you said it or not. If you have written it, it is a huge denotation that you have said it. That’s when satisfaction would say hello, and you can bid insecurities fuck off.

On a serious note, and how I view this matter on a bigger scale of perspective is that, the time of droopiness and the stupid apathy for the Malaysian youth is over. We need to keep on writing and speaking out. We need to keep on learning and thinking, to let everyone know our views and broaden the eminence of our words. The time is now and the need for us to continue, or start doing these things, is even greater than before. No one can deny that our country is on the threshold of great changes, and history will never forgive us if we, the youth, stand submissively by and say no of being actors in it. Now is not the time to depart into our old shells. We need to be a part of our nation, a part of our world and we can only do this by connecting with and understanding each other. The key is we have to read, think, listen, speak, write, and then share it with the world. And that’s why I choose to blog rather than watching porn. OK OK my bad I’m passing off - that’s why I choose to blog rather than hisap dadah.

And credits to that person who questioned on why I’ve been blogging all this while, for he made me want to write even more and yes, made me want to say the magic word fuck more frequently in my writings.

P.S. Blog is fine. Where you can be a fancy person, and set yourself free from any sense of insecurities, and combine your neuroticism and egoism in a simple method of writing. Quote me if you feel like the phrase makes sense. It took me an hour of lying on my bed and another hour of kicking Nike ball late at night while having a nice chat with fellow Blok A mates to make up the words.

Sweet isn’t it. Ha ha. Yeah, I treated myself with an Adidas +F30, just a day before The Kop booked their place in the final, a good luck sign I guess. I was spoilt for choices with Nike and Lotto at both hands but Adidas is always my first love, having wearing it for years now. I owe Adidas for its style and performance, both on and off the field. Anyway, both Stevie G and Zizou wear Adidas on their feet and it seems like an insult if I don’t wear one. Thanks to Wan Zahidi, who has been kind enough to keep me in company when I hold my 7 months MARA allowance restlessly and gave me full support when I stared goodbye to my ever fantasized Nike Mercurial Vapor. And it started off with flying color when I demonstrated a fusion of Messi, Kaka and Stevie G’s style of play on my new boot’s debut. Ha ha, I can hear you say “Izham poyo”. Mampus lah! It’s my way of fulfilling my hierarchy of need, my self-esteem! Anyway, MCB Football team players are so much having their time of joy playing football these days, which is a good sign for the team’s future. I can see them laughing, displayed a never-seen-before maneuver on the pitch and played well in the team, with improved passing technique and team play. I can just smile for that, and hoping for the best for them, and for the team.

P.S. The Reds are in the final, +F30 is now under my bed, and MCB Football team is having fun with the ball. It was indeed a beautiful week of football for me.

Ahli Fikir really made me fikir. It took me few years to apprehend what their song 'Samseng' was all about for real. It is sad of how the thing got us really occupied, stupidly. Here how it goes, and I’ve been thinking to write this thread every time I got back from any kedai mamak or malls, where men in group can be seen easily around.

When you go around, you want to look cool on foot with your bunch of friends, or should I say clan. It is somewhat an era of foolish reasoning of believing that if you are alone, with no one backing you on your back, you will breathe your last breath and die unaided. I go about anywhere to see people sit in group, looking each other intensely, like trying very hard to trigger any spot for a fight. They just love to be intense and create such stressed ambiance around.

Who is stronger? That is one and only thing that somewhere to be found in their intelligence. It’s the matter of who got more troops to back them up, and if you have more than 5 or 10 of your clique, you will breathe easily and walk like a real dick and if you don’t, you better be scared not to get beaten if you say something wrong.

Aku banyak member. Hisap konek aku.

Joining a gang and being in a clan or clique means you have lots of friends. Middle finger. Joining a gang makes you look like an idiot wannabe you idiot wannabe (yes, I repeat). Being in a gang is not just walking around with a red or blue belt around your waist. Being in a gang is not a game, and it is not the way to show that you have the biggest dick. When 30 people started to beat this one rebellious guy, who has larger dick? You tell me.

We are an advancing species. We develop new technologies, as well as new means to be recognized, to be respected. And looks like being in a gang or a clan would give us that petty latter more easily. They just get the wrong end of the stick of what respect is all about. For them, respect means fear. Dude, respect is far beyond that stupid fixation. Days in Koleq really thought me about the subject of respect. You don’t have to have the physical strength to get respect, you don’t have to have the cash to make everyone bow and do you a blowjob. It’s about respecting others, and it will be reciprocated, and that’s the only way to gain respect, and not by staring at others like you are the only who have glaring eyes or being part of your stupid clan. At Koleq or it can be anywhere, there are many figures that made their name in sports, academics and leadership etc, but only few and not all of them really got my respect as to develop such in me, they have to be all down to earth and humble, and have a great deal of respecting others.

We live in the world where there are so many progress and changes as days go by. We progress in our culture so well. We start to recognize gay marriage, human cloning and other things which are unimaginable to us in the past. So people sitting in a gang, and dreadfully looking forward to be in any fight, walking around with killing stare, is something we should expect. It happens everywhere in the world, so why shouldn't we expect it to happen here as well? So let’s go against the stereotype guys. People think (it is for real) that we are a bunch of wannabes that trying very hard to look cool by being in a gang, talk big and nothing come in return. We still sit there at kedai mamak, waiting for tey ais. Unlike the real deal, the Mafias, the Yakuzas, who talk less, and earn both money and respect in return. I’m not trying to give an idea about being like any Mafias or Yakuzas, but they really dig up the thing called respect the right style and what is more is they talk less, and do their shit more, not just sit there and stare, stare and talk big.

Butterfingers had adroitly coined once, in this brilliant line of their song,

Bila kawan ramai
keliling kita
Cakap besar tunjuk belang
Tapi bila sorang-sorang
Pengecut pemalu
Macam semua orang

I suppose that if your mates look after you, then it is a good thing. But terrorizing and creating discomfort of other people is definitely not. Most of us feel safe having their friends around but intimidating other people is a cheap way to earn a middle finger, not respect. You aren’t going to get any respect if you don’t respect others in the first place, and talking trash with millions of your clan behind your back isn’t going to make you a respected person. It only makes you a good pemidato and you might want to compete for Kejohanan Pidato Piala Di-Raja for being able to talk that big.

The best thing to give to an opponent is respect, and never takes a person’s dignity and self-esteem, they worth everything to them, but nothing to you. Just bare that in the end, we are all separate - our stories, no matter how similar, come to a fork and diverge. We are drawn to each other because of our similarities, but it is our difference we must learn to respect. Just be smart by respecting others, as what goes around comes around, and you might get the biggest respect by simply give others a little respect.

Saya ni bukan sempurna
Tapi saya tahu
Dosa dan pahala
Ku tuhan sahaja yang tahu

P.S. 'You’ll Never Walk Alone' if you have the thing called respect, and it not necessarily literally.