During my days in Koleq, I have always felt that I am capable of changing the world and everything under the sun is actually under my power to exploit. I have changed my ambitions quite a number of times, thanks to the vast range of reading materials I had gone through which somehow altered my world view and even my soul quite greatly at times. It is still fresh in my mind that I wanted to be an architect, before thinking to be a man who wears a white-coat at a gloomy alley in a hospital – a doctor. For some time in my younger days, when Manchester United was in their glory days, having scooped every little championships on their way were splashes on papers and televisions, when Malaysian football was quite a phenomena around here (the reason why I said it so is because Selangor were the real Red Giants I knew compared to these days), I wanted to be a footballer, to play for Selangor of course, and eventually will get an offer to play for Manchester United as the first Asian ever played for the Red Devils. I even hallucinated a newspaper headlines – ‘Izham : From a Giant to a Devil’.

Then as I go along, when Selangor started to play sloppy game which then eventually started to lose their crazed antics, and when David Beckham tried very hard to impress other clubs than his own, I started to loose out the daydream to be a professional footballer.

Just like any other little kids around, I was the biggest fans of comics. I didn’t fancy reading superheroes stories like in Marvel Comics’, or fantasy like Doraemon type of comic, but I yearn more on satirical and simple slapstick – and you can find them only in Ujang and Gila-Gila, Malaysia’s very own MAD. I grew up reading them and I guess that’s how humorous trait happened to seep through my vein and I couldn’t stop myself looking things at its humorous part all the time. Then I started to play with pencils and papers that my first artwork was an ‘orang lidi’ – and most probably you guys could expect that for once, I dreamt to be a cartoonist.

Then it came to the time when I can even think of being a boy band, inspired by 2-By-2 hit wonder, which their songs happened to be my lip-synching routine. Even my friends like the band, and we planned to produce an album ever since – which then have to be cut short after one of us moved to a new place, and we are short of one vocal. Then the dream faded off.

I love to watch dramas and live performances. I still remember when there was a slot called ‘Spektra’, which was then a phenomenon in Malaysian drama field with the famous series of Jaguh Jaguh, a story about an inspiring young group of boys who were en route in achieving their craziest dream, to be badminton stars. I was so occupied with the series that I forced my mum to buy me a racquet for me to play with. So most probably you guys might think that I wanted to be a shuttler – you are wrong. I wanted to be an actor! There were times when my mum bought a camcorder (which is very huge in size back then) and it was so happened that my brother spotted my inclinations in front of the camera. He recorded some of my slapsticks and hyperactivities. I could even write playscripts and my first script I made was Hang Tuah story, a story revolved around the fight between Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat where I got to play as both Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat, and so technically, I was fighting alone, with an imaginary opponent. But it was a very fascinating experience when I watched the clips back. My brother would laugh hysterically off my insanity during my younger days. I was an inch close to appear in a movie, but then have to be cut short as my mum would argue that, study comes first!

Lines of ambitions I kept during the time when I was finding my own self had been a good tutor which broadens my scope of view greatly. Dreaming made me a person I am right now, for I am dreaming about I want to be and I tried very hard to be what I want to be. Dreaming allowed me to step to a place I never dream of being in and everything is in my grasp to take hold of – whether I want to do something about it or not. It is nothing wrong about having lots of ambitions and dreams, as long as you are to put your best effort in making the dream comes true. Dream on guys, there is nothing wrong about it. You’ll grow richer with options and experiences, if not money.

At least there is something positive about Mat Jenin.

P.S. I'm dreaming of traveling around the world and write my blog post in different part of the world.