Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Verba-teh Tarik
Hang balik mai sini bila? NZ jom. Aku tak jejak situ since kau takde. Haha. Macam pergi Graceland tak jumpe Elvis.
Paris and Rome, I'll be home.
posted by Izham Ismail at 12:47 pm | Permalink | 10 comments
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Supper With Heather Fairclough

Some people just want my help, not my friendship.

"How did you help them, anyway?"

By allowing them to make fun of me.

I play around too much, no one takes me seriously.

"Yeah, I was about to say that."

Of course. Finish your drink, I'm paying this time.

"Ha ha yeah right."

posted by Izham Ismail at 11:00 am | Permalink | 1 comments
Monday, May 25, 2009
Tangisan Timur Laut

Welcome to Whineside, to Woeside and to Tearside, where football bubbles through the veins of a region and where, this season at least, it threatens to corrode the soul.

George Caulkin, one of my favorite, other than the already famed Hubbard and Rae. 

Those Mackems are having the last laugh, two points clear the sorry Geordies, and can still play Liverpool next season. Boro are worst, unable to cope with Downing's absence and Tuncay was obviously too heartbroken to work his socks off. Maybe it is time to pack your stuff and head to Merseyside. 

Championship is the last thing big team like Newcastle would ever like to think about. The ghost of Elland Road will haunt St. James Park for as long as Newcastle are in the Championship. Such coincidence, my first Premier League match as a spectator was a match between the two relegated clubs. Anyway, good luck next season, for I am looking forward to learn some Championship kick of English football.

Robbie Keane thought he could return as the bone in contention, when he scored Spurs' first and only goal at Anfield, but the Reds were too good to allow anyone to humiliate them in front of the Kop. 

It was an emotional farewell to the legendary Sami Hyypia, and the sight of him replacing Stevie G at 84th minutes, and wearing the captain's armband was heart-rending. We will miss you, Sami.

Another trophy-less season for us but we achieved something great this season: re-establishing ourself as a serious title contender. United were close to shed Devils tears, and mark my word, Liverpool will be back to haunt them.

Premier League, checked. Let's have some Malaysian football, shall we?

posted by Izham Ismail at 4:34 am | Permalink | 4 comments
Wednesday, May 20, 2009

"Dude, why so quiet?" 

I am updating my status. Ha ha no lah, I am reading, can't you see? Anyway what's up?

"Oh, have you spoken to Ali about the task?" 

Yes, I wall-to-wall him already. Ha ha yes I have.

"Dude, I like your suggestion." 

Like only?" Anything to comment? Ha ha any other ideas?

"Dude, do you know Nicholas?" 

If there is a quiz on how well I know him, I'd score 60% easily. Ha ha yes I know him.

Poke! "Dude, don't lah poke me like that!" 

Poke! Nah I poke you back.

"Anyway, can we talk about the assignment during lunchtime?"

Sorry mate, I'll be offline by then, try message thread. Ha ha sure.

"Why so mad?" 

I tagged you in a note, but you did nothing. Another thing, no birthday present from you yesterday.

"Wall message wish not enough ah?"

Anyway, hey I like your new dress. 

"When did you see one?" 

Err, your profile picture?

What in the blue hell was that?

So people, beware of this thing called Facebook. It fucks you and your social skill.

"Sun and surf, barbecue, beach bonfires, ah I just love the summer." 

Huh, I thought it is still winter?

posted by Izham Ismail at 3:17 am | Permalink | 9 comments
Sunday, May 17, 2009

Here is something I've promised to do.

Today is 16th May 2009. I don't give any hoot about what is there supposed to be remembered on this day, other than a friend's birthday. 

He is Ahmad Kamal bin Zafrullah. I just call him Kamal. 

I know him since 1995 and we grew up together ever since. Together we played and appreciated football like any other middle-class kids that time. If not because of him, I might probably have found congkak and cartoons interesting instead.

We were in the same class, played football for school together, being corrupted prefects together, ran for house relay team together and above all, had been lepak mamak together for as long as I can remember.

He supports Chelsea and never been bothered to annoy me when The Blues made more marks than The Reds. 

It broke my heart when his family left Taman Permata. Anyway, it is funny that I can still remember his old house phone number, considering that it was used to be the number I would dial for football meeting every evening. 

My house used to be the video-game and indoor football dungeon, and I'd go to his house to ponteng sekolah agama to play barefooted badminton and football. Both our parents still don't know about this. 

He is very athletic in nature. He'd be the guy who would climb the tree if someone kicked the ball into the tall, sometimes spiky tree. I'd rather stay back and look from far, since I wouldn't be much of help given how inferior my physique was. Fair enough, and still is.

He can play in any given position, even between the post. I used to envy his shooting strength and hated myself for being small. We won the school's famous inter-class football competition and have not stop talking about it yet everytime we meet.

Now that he lives few miles away from Taman Permata, he is still making his rounds, driving all the way to meet us over teh tarik. 

He was the last guy I lepak mamak with before I left, and one of few guys who is always there to pick me up when I'm down, all secretly behind the scene.

He is one of few people I don't feel geli at all when he calls me 'bro'.

Nice knowing you. You are my prayer answered. Happy birthday, bro.

posted by Izham Ismail at 4:09 am | Permalink | 11 comments
Friday, May 15, 2009
Females Are More Religious In Nature
For the first time, I am writing this post in the comfort of ridiculously Usain Bolt-fast university internet connection and not so comforting feeling given that the exam is just few days away.

A directorate pharmacist (or drug consultant for commercial reason) from nearby hospital came to teach me gastrointestinal and liver aspects of pharmacology today, and I should know by now to suggest some drug (with accurate quantity) if you are struggling with abdominal pain. OMG!

Only if she didn't look like someone familiar, I would have paid more attention and wouldn't have screwed the last bit of the tutorial. OMG!

I never thought I'd enjoy doing drug dose calculation, since my numerical skill is beyond catastrophic. I had to use the calculator to subsract 32 from 45, when talking to my junior about IB points. OMG!

Now I have an hour to kill. I've watched every goal there is at 101greatgoals, read more news than I supposedly had to, and starting to load Top Gear on YouTube. Ah life's great! OMG!

Okay not, since exam is around the corner. It's like, OMG!

It is raining out there and I had to keep my cool by not running in the rain, and walked steadily instead. Toilet drier was in full blast before I sorted myself out again. OMG!

A guy next to me is panicking with revision (I assume he is doing Business, because he smells nice) and a girl is talking very loudly on the phone just right accross the table. OMG!

The wall is painted white with adverts of college election hopeful candidates' campaign poster splashed all over. Some of them are cute and might get my vote. Few more revealing pictures will secure my vote without a slightest of hesitation. OMG!

The printer is so busy today, ominously printing off slides after slides. If the printer can talk, he might want to have heart-to-heart talk with me. I have nothing to do with him, since I have my own printer in my room - except for it being the loyal supplier of A4 papers. OMG!

That printer is a cash machine for the uni, ripping 4p for each page printed. Yes, I did turn to look at the print charges poster right at my back. OMG!

And there is a girl just below the poster. Accurately standing at my 5 o'clock, she mixes black-white silk dress with dark purple scarf and wears blue sandals with brown handbag - and stupidly big green stone earrings, which succesfully confused me of the concept of mix and match. I can never understand how fashion works. Ridiculously weird and expensive. Yes, I have to turn and look again, and lucky to escape unnoticed. OMG!

When I mentioned 5 o'clock just now, a Chinese couple just walked in. The guy raised his eyebrow to greet me hello - that's how we Asian do the trick: no talking, yet relationship saving. The girl is okay lah, nothing like Gillian Chung to really catch my attention. Seeing them reminded me of Sichuan Earthquake Charity fundraising drive they had last week in uni. I donated zero pence, compensated it with few emphatic questions and discovered how well the drive went!

Can I make up a story that there was a massive earthquake happened in some place in Malaysia few years ago that killed millions so that I can lead a charity fundraising drive? I think I could get 100 pounds easily in a day. Tell some stories, show some bucket and shake some hands, and in few days, I'll get my USD300!

Morally wrong. OMG!

One of my coursemate knows my school, but spelt it CCKK. Banyak sangat C tu. He knows it by the school's cricket ground. He asked me whether I know Bradford Grammar School or not. I knew shit about his school before he told me his high school story. He went away just before he was about to bore me.

I remember now who that drug consultant looked like: my essay advisor back in Banting. Oh she was my tutor as well. I hope she is doing well. I have to go now.

By the way, there you go - blogging, by girls' definition.

OMG! So, OMG! Aww, OMG! It's like, so, OMG! It's like, aww, so, OMG! It's like, it's like, aww, aww, OMG!

Kill me.


posted by Izham Ismail at 9:26 pm | Permalink | 11 comments
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Hai Cerdik Pandai

Jalan-jalan terpijak kaca,

Bijak pandai tak pakai selipar,

Kalau tuan tidak membaca,

Jangan cuba nak cakap besar.

Man exceeds all bounds when he thinks he is self-sufficient. - The Clinging Form: 6-7

Good luck in exams, hamba-hamba Tuhan sekalian.

P.S. Can somebody tell me how to raise USD300 in a month without doing anything legally and morally wrong?

posted by Izham Ismail at 2:41 am | Permalink | 11 comments
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Enigma Bahasa

Sains dan Matematik dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Kau tanya apa kata aku. Dengar ya, aku cuba ulas. 

Aku tak kisah kalau nak disuruh belajar dalam bahasa apa pun, tapi kalau aku ada kuasa, aku mahu belajar dalam bahasa aku berfikir. 

Bangsa aku teruk dibelasah, dikatakan mundur dalam Sains dan Matematik kerana prestasi buruk ketika menjawab soalan dalam Bahasa Inggeris.

Tahu tak, bangsa aku bukan tak tahu jawab soalan, tapi tak faham soalan dan tak tahu cara terbaik untuk terangkan jawapan. Kerana apa? Bahasa Inggeris bukan bahasa dalam otak bangsa aku.

Sumpah aku tak nafikan kepentingan Bahasa Inggeris. Aku boleh mati kelaparan kalau tidak tahu berbahasa Inggeris di sini.

Tapi aku rasa jelik bila orang permainkan isu bahasa, bahasa apa pun, baik bahasa aku atau bahasa mereka. Masing-masing menjatuhkan maruah masing-masing. 

Bangsa aku dengan yakin angkat bahasa aku sehingga lupa bahasa mereka juga bahasa ilmu. Bahasa mereka angkuh dengan nilai tradisi bahasa mereka sebagai bahasa ilmu sehingga lupa bahasa aku juga ada saham dalam menyampaikan ilmu.

Kau permainkan ilmu kalau kau permainkan bahasa ilmu. Jangan permainkan ilmu, wahai hamba Tuhan.

Aku tak kisah kalau bangsa aku handal berbahasa Inggeris. Aku tak kisah kalau bangsa aku handal berbahasa Melayu. Aku tak kisah kalau bangsa aku handal kedua-dua bahasa. Aku tak kisah kau adun kedua-dua bahasa dan jadikannya bahasa lidah kau, walaupun kadang-kadang ramai yang rasa jelik.

Sumpah aku tak kisah. 

Tapi aku kisah kalau bangsa aku jadi bangsa tak berilmu dan tak berakal hanya kerana bahasa.

Sains dan Matematik dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Jadi kau tanya, aku setuju atau tidak?

Aku tak kisah kalau nak disuruh belajar dalam bahasa apa pun, tapi kalau aku ada kuasa, aku mahu belajar dalam bahasa aku berfikir. 

Hormat bahasa aku, dan hormat bahasa mereka, nescaya ilmu akan datang bersama keredhaan Dia.

Harap aku menjawab soalan, dan kongsi dengan kau sedikit ilmu.

Itu pun kalau kau faham bahasa yang baru aku gunakan.

posted by Izham Ismail at 5:43 am | Permalink | 18 comments
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Thank God It's Weekend

A friend left me at home to watch Boro play United at Riverside, and another friend left me at home to play in a football competition at Newcastle.

Eh tak lah, Izham Ismail suka main bola jaring actually.

Funny thing is, I still call them friends and still looking forward to buy them a drink.

Have a nice weekend, people.

P.S. United scored twice and now six points clear. Joke.

posted by Izham Ismail at 12:54 am | Permalink | 5 comments
Saturday, May 02, 2009

I just found out what loser means: those who long for greatness but never try to take hold of it.

By simple deduction, it means that you are not a loser if you are trying. Which means that 'Fuck You Skeptics' is a valid term until hell freezes over.

Skeptics are like elephants. They have dick on their face. 

I am sure there are more definitions to add. Well it is up to what kind of losers you bump into. 

Do not lose hope and keep on trying, hamba-hamba Tuhan sekalian.

This one goes for those who chase their dreams quietly, for in the wise words of a good friend, 

We should have just dreamt quietly and focus on making that dream a reality, rather than talking about the dream.

May God be with me, you and everyone.

posted by Izham Ismail at 7:07 pm | Permalink | 3 comments
Friday, May 01, 2009

1998 is a year to remember. France won the World Cup for the first time, and Wan Kuzain Wan Kamal was born.

Wan Kuzain Wan who?

This young gentleman just made my day. I hope to see him soon, maybe in 2018 and see him making 2018 another year to remember for Malaysian football.

I just hope this kid will thrive unspoilt and stay in safe hands.

Wan Kuzain Wan Kamal, remember the name.

P.S. He wears number 10. What did I say about those tenners?

posted by Izham Ismail at 2:05 am | Permalink | 6 comments