I've been writing long streak of post about my love in football. Blog readers find ways to label me and quick to point out the obvious that I am a football blogger. I am in no way trying to disagree with that. In fact, I feel flattered by such recognition with such a little amount of football knowledge I have.

Then I started to experiment with another interest I have in literary writing, blog readers started to think differently on the way I write that they have problems adjusting to the tune and the sometimes peculiar style of writing. 

Sometimes, I took an easy way out to write a new post by jotting down a few words and expand it into lines and into stanzas and hence a poem is made. It is easier when you know that you have to only think about a word to begin with and then let your mind freely swim through the sea of punctuation, connectors and prepositions.

I like it very much to find that way of expressing myself, that I never run dry of materials to be posted as it is so easy to write it into a blog post. 

Some people find it too schmaltzy and disappointed that I have turned myself into a blogger they don't want me to be.

Most of the time, people don't have any idea what I write about and start to get confused with my way of writing and the easiest way to get out of the doubt is to discard my blog from their reading list. That is for them the only way to show resentment and disappointment for my failure to deliver what they want in my blog post. 

Some of them even said my blog is just another piece of internet rubbish and my writings are gibberish and not worth reading.

How do I know about this? 

A truthful reader told me - between the lines of a very long e-mail - who stated to be representing not only him/herself, but a group of people. I can only think he/she has a group of friends he/she knows who happen to read my blog, not some group of people with extreme political or religious ideology who'd sworn to mug me when I wrote something offensive to them.

If I got the quote right, the e-mail said that I've lost my charm as a writer and need to do something if I don't want my readership to suffer in number.

Fair enough, my doors are open to any comments, critics or feedback alike, and I am more than happy to listen and I've said millions of times that things should be reciprocal - so I should have my say as well.

Let me first start by laughing off the fact that I have writer's charm. Ha ha that is schmaltzy, mentioning it even in a slam letter that is.

I like to write, maybe it is just my nature who love to teach and tell stories. I always find ways to make things clear to other people.

Because all the time, I am stupid and eager to know what I do not know, and often disappoint myself to find no one to guide me. 

As a human being, I hold responsibility (or I choose) not only to live my life, but to guide other people's life as well - hence my jottings and opinions are my hope of lessons to be learned not just by myself, but people reading it as well.

Most importantly, it is for my own satisfaction - my own dick, as I used to coin it.

And number two, if no one bothers to read my blog, I don't feel sorry at all for it is their choice, and as much as they have the right not to read mine, I reserve my rights to keep on doing what I am passionate in.

I strongly belief that in whatever you do, things will go wrong if you do it to impress others but yourself. 

Usually, if you write to impress, you will get knackered in the middle of doing it and will leave your blog un-updated if you find your plan is not going your way. This is just an assertation based on my observation, surely no empirical data to support this.

But at the end of the day, the ball is in your court, you make the deal - the same thing I told my friends who wants to do something in their life, not just in writing.

I am sorry to say this but jikalau penulisan aku nampak bodoh, jangan ingat aku pura-pura menjadi bodoh. Mungkin aku memang bodoh.

I just want to respect the context of the discourse, hence the abrupt Malay phrase.

I am sorry if I disappoint any of you. Maybe I am not the guy you think I am.

But it is good to know that there are people who care about where I stand and seek for ways to make me a better person, and more subtly to make me think on ways to be a better person. Therefore, many thanks for that, mate.

I bet the reader is reading my e-mail and the post I think I wrote when the reader used to like me.